The Parable of the 10 Virgins – 7 Lessons

The parable of the 10 virgins found in Matt. 25:1-13 has more to say to us than we often realize. One of the things that troubles a person most, that nags and gnaws at our spirit, is when we mess up, make a bad mistake, and then have to pay for it when we realized from the get go what we needed to do which would have avoided the whole thing but simply failed to do it for one reason or another. We blame ourselves for the mess we got ourselves into and rightly so. There is much of that in the parable of the 10 virgins.

You probably know the parable but I will give a brief summary just in case. In ancient times in the Middle East when there was a wedding it was the Jewish custom for the bridegroom to go to the house of his father-in-law to receive his bride and then to return to either his own home or a designated location for the wedding and all that went with it. There would be appointed a company of virgins to meet him and his beloved with lanterns to accompany them upon their return to the place of the festivities and to enter therein with them and enjoy and take part in the celebration.

In the account found in Matthew the bridegroom tarried for whatever reason and did not arrive nearly as soon as expected. The 10 virgins fell asleep but were awakened by the cry of his imminent appearance and prepared immediately to go out and greet the couple and fulfill their duties to bring them in to commence the wedding. The problem was 5 of the 10 virgins found they were running out of oil for their lamps which were going out and had brought nothing with them to carry them over in such a contingency. The other 5 had prepared for such a thing but had not enough extra oil to give out lest they too run out. The 5 who lacked sufficient oil made a hasty trip to purchase from those who sold but upon their return found the “the door was shut” and they were not allowed entrance.

It is obvious that the main lesson of the parable is about the need to be prepared for the Lord’s return - “Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.” (Matt. 25:13 NKJV) But, I want to take as in depth a look at this parable as I am capable of doing and get out of it everything I can for there are lessons here that I am persuaded that are often overlooked.

(1) Not every person who will be lost (have the door shut on them) is what we would call a bad person by human standards. I do not know a single charge that could be brought against the 5 virgins who ran short of oil other than they were negligent in their lack of adequate preparation. Nothing negative is said about their character or conduct whatsoever aside from this one charge. From all we can tell they seemed to be good people with but one fault.

Thus one lesson we see in this parable is that being a good person by itself is not enough. Not all good people by society’s standards obey the gospel. Good people some may be as we see it - good but lost. Peter asks, “What will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel?” (1 Peter 4:17 NKJV, see also 2 Thess. 1:7-9) To ask is to answer.

I know families as honest as the day, morally above reproach, kind, generous, do not drink, do not curse, have a great family and family life yet have no interest in religion, in Christ, the Bible, or God although they may offer a prayer at the Thanksgiving meal. They may, if pressed, make a claim to believe in God but a Bible would last them 10,000 years for it would never be used nor would there ever be any point in expecting to see them in the public worship. In many ways they are good people, good like the 5 virgins who were lost. They are lost for they have made no preparation.

The rich young ruler was an example of an otherwise good man who was lost. We find his story in Matt. 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-22, and Luke 18:18-30. He comes to Jesus and asks what he must do to inherit eternal life. Jesus lists a number of commandments and he answers and says “Teacher, all these things I have kept from my youth.” (Mark 10:20 NKJV) Did he lie? No! But, he lacked one thing – he loved his wealth and was not yet willing to give it up. The Bible says Jesus loved this man (Mark 10:21) and yet despite the good life of the young man in keeping all the commandments and despite Jesus’ love for him he was lost. Yes, people you and I might call good people can and will be lost. Not all people we call good are going to be saved.

(2) Not every person who will be lost has a bad heart. The 5 who fell out of favor wanted the right thing. They had a desire to do well and be with the right people. In the parable the wedding party and guests represent the saints with the bridegroom being Jesus so we could say that even the 5 unprepared virgins were seeking the company of God’s people.

I sometimes hear people talking about their heart and how their heart tells them they are okay with God. We must have a clean conscience before God but Paul’s heart was good while he was persecuting Christians for the simple reason he thought he was doing God’s will. He said after his arrest in Jerusalem while before the council there, “I have lived in all good conscience before God until this day.” (Acts 23:1 NKJV) One cannot have a good conscience while having a bad heart that is pricking his soul.

Do not get me wrong as I do not want to be misunderstood. The heart may not be what it ought to be. All I am saying is that to us the heart seems right and so we are at peace with God despite the fact we may well be at war with him unknowingly. One must be very careful with regards to his heart. Hear the words of the Lord spoken directly, “The heart is deceitful above all things; and desperately wicked; who can know it? I, the Lord, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.” (Jer. 17:9-10 NKJV)

How applicable that is to the hearts of the 5 virgins who were unprepared. They did not have an inkling of anything being wrong whatsoever until the very end. The heart (emotions in their case) felt right but the mind was not thinking, not considering the possibilities, and thus they were given in the end each according to their ways.

(The Bible heart consists of the emotions, the will, and the mind of man. Sometimes in speaking of the heart the Bible will have reference to only one of these elements while at other times it takes the comprehensive view thus one must take care in reading carefully the text in context. The 5 foolish virgins had the proper emotions but evidently that overrode what should have been a proper concern for consideration by the mind of contingency plans and the will to provide for such an eventuality. Trusting in emotions is an awfully risky business at best which is why many bad marriages are made – the mind is thrust out of the decision making process.)

(3) Not every person who is lost is totally negligent. The 5 unprepared virgins had made preparation up to a point. It is no easy task to prepare for a wedding. They had worked no doubt preparing for the occasion if in nothing else in getting themselves prepared with proper dress, etc. They were also prompt, on time, in fact early as it turned out. Early but not adequately prepared.

Being unprepared in one aspect of one’s life is enough to ruin the whole thing. So I have faith. What if I do not have works? James says, “Faith without works is dead.” (James 2:26 NKJV) The Christian life is a balanced life. In what area is one to be unprepared? Is it in faith, in works, in love, in worship, in longsuffering, in self-control? Where are we to be unprepared? This is not to say we can reach perfection but it is to say we cannot be negligent in developing Christian character and fulfilling Christian responsibilities. Remember, as far as we can tell from the account given, the 5 foolish virgins were prepared fully in every way but one.

(4) When a door is shut it is shut. There comes a time even in this life when doors are shut never to be opened again. This thought was really the catalyst for this article. There are so many things that need to be done today but we procrastinate. There are relationships that need to be repaired. It ought to be done today but we are betting on tomorrow or waiting on the other guy to make the first move. Doors only stay open for a time and many once closed will always remain so. When you are 85 it is a little hard to say you are going to college and it will open financial doors of opportunity for you.

The lesson is simple enough. Do today what you need to get done and do not put it off any longer. The Bible never promises a tomorrow. “You do not know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away.” (James 4:14 NKJV) “Behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.” (2 Cor. 6:2 NKJV) When Noah built the ark and entered therein God shut the door. (Gen. 7:16 NKJV) That door when shut remained shut. We need to act today before our doors are shut never to open again.

The 5 foolish virgins had a door of opportunity to prepare, as do we, but time runs out and when that happens we can say in all truthfulness the door has been shut.

(5) We live and we die with presumptions if we pursue that course of life. Certainly, all would agree the foolish virgins presumed an early arrival and plenty of oil for their needs. They lived with that presumption and suffered with it as well. The word “presumptuous” as in “presumptuous sins” as found in Psalms 19:13 where David prayed, “keep back your servant also from presumptuous sins,” (NKJV) has reference to sins of pride which proceed from an over reliance on self-confidence.

The 5 foolish virgins certainly thought they had everything under control. We ought to learn from that. It is dangerous to rely on self and make presumptions. Rather than make presumptions why not just take God’s word on matters relating to life and godliness. The Bible today has basically been rewritten by many of the major religious bodies in existence today. They will live and die with their new interpretations of what God’s word says (means). It is a life of presumption. As we live so we die – the day the door is shut.

(6) There is danger in living a foolish life. “The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God.’” (Psalms 14:1 NKJV) The 5 virgins who did not prepare adequately were foolish and paid for it. Amos, the prophet, warned Israel, “Prepare to meet your God, O Israel!” (Amos 4:12 NKJV) We will all meet God one day. The day of death is for all practical purposes that day. That is the day that for you and me is the day the bridegroom cometh. Will we be found wise and prepared or foolish and unprepared?

We are often foolish out of ignorance but why are we ignorant? In religious matters it is because we refuse to become serious students of God’s word. We live a life of religious emotionalism rather than of serious academic study of God’s word. We don’t know what God teaches. We only know what we hear on TV or what the preacher says. Too often the amount of study that is done would fit into a thimble with room left over.

God speaking through Hosea said in days gone by, “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being priest for me; because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children.” (Hosea 4:6 NKJV) Have things improved among mankind?

The 5 foolish virgins should have been aware of the possibility of a delay. Surely, this was not the first time a bridegroom had ever been delayed in his coming. But they refused to give the thought any serious consideration. They had the knowledge to know what could happen but rejected knowledge and refused to give it serious consideration just as people do with God’s word today.

(7) Finally, my last point. There is no such thing as living off the godliness of another. I cannot loan you love for God, or faith, or works, or give you godly character. Those are personal things we each must develop for ourselves. If Christ is to live within me then I must be the one that cultivates that relationship seeking and desiring it. It takes time and effort to develop a mature Christian character. I can no more get you a college degree with your name on it and all the knowledge acquired from the pursuit of it than I can make you a faithful dedicated Christian.

If you want to know the Bible you must study it. I cannot do it for you. If you want to live a faithful life you must do it, I cannot do it for you. If you want to serve God and mankind you are the one who must do it. So, the bottom line is the choice is ours, each one of us.

I close by saying this. When we study the Bible we need to keep in mind it is God talking to us. That being the case there are things he is saying to me that I need to pick up on. He is not just story telling for the sake of telling stories. Let us read and study and consider as though our life is dependent upon it for it is.